Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Superpowers



I don't "get" superheroes and all of that, but I do have a really cool superpower! It's called being so fat that I hulk out of my shirts at work. Like just ripping sleeves off of a blouse because my arms are sausages and my shoulders are linebacker status. SUPER ATTRACTIVE, ask anyone.

Monday, January 16, 2017

Older Than Dirt

I've heard that it's all downhill after you turn 25.

Like, one day you're a youthful 24 year old who is able to touch their toes and shotgun a beer with no adverse effects and the next thing you know you're 25 and in Urgent Care being told you have carpal tunnel. Awh.

(Side note: I have never been able to touch my toes and the one time I shotgunned a beer, I absolutely hated it... but hypothetically those are cool mid-twenty activities. The carpal tunnel part is relevant to my life currently though.) 


My dad said this to me on Christmas morning after I opened some anti-aging creme I was gifted...
Subtle. Real subtle.

Granny Dani WAS my nickname (that people said behind my back) in high school so I'm not super surprised I have a soul of a 80 year old and the face of someone recently deceased.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

TV Rules Everything Around Me.


Isn't it so beautiful, you kind of want to cry? Is that just me? Huh. 

I'm trying to figure out how to stop time but continue to exist so I'm able to finish all these seasons before the weekend ends. Advice on accomplishing this is welcome. 

Side note from a TV expert: Netflix's OA is pretty thumbs up. It's super bizarre and engrossing; I had no idea what I was getting myself into but I just know I couldn't stop watching. It's insane to me that there are still original thoughts left in this world. 

Sunday, January 1, 2017

A Year In Review

Happy 2017, ya weirdos!


I spent my New Years Eve with my best friends being a tad bit glutinous. Let's just say I was not feeling too hot January 1st... Oops.

NYE is my favorite holiday, which I realize is very girly of me... but hey. I like dressing up, glitter, champagne, fireworks and the idea of someone feeling obligated to kiss me. I also like the idea of starting fresh and bettering myself and leaving the past behind. New Year Eve is never as fabulous as I imagine it to be, but it has the potential of being so great that I just keep trying to make the holiday love me back as much as I love it. (Story of my life. It's not working out.)

Anyways, most people I know refuse to make New Years Resolutions because they know they aren't going to keep them. I like to give my future self the benefit of the doubt; maybe I won't be as garbage as I was the year before... You never know! I also think it's beneficial to enter the new year with good intentions. I don't think it's wrong to set expectations for yourself and I think posting my resolutions online every year kind of holds me more accountable.


The word I can't get out of my head is "resilience." It's one thing I am focusing on in 2017. I want to be tougher this year. I want to grow and bounce back and keep trying even if I really don't want to. I want to be nicer to myself and practice more self love and be more mindful of my mental health. I want to hate myself less and recognize how much I am growing. 


I also like the idea of working hard and loving harder. Life is obviously more than a job and money. When I say hustling, I mean throwing myself (and my "art") out into the world. Creating more opportunities for myself and trying harder to make things that make me feel good. I want to try my best and allow myself to feel accomplished afterwards. 

I also want to be comfortable and happy. My favorite feeling is the peaceful, warm safety of my bed. I want to create more restorative niches like that in my life this year. (And I want to cuddle my cats more. That cool?)

Here's hoping, right?

Major cheesin'


I listen to this song every year on New Year's Day and it makes me kind of sad and kind of hopeful too.