How to Stop Apologizing: A Work in Progress

I've been absent and off the grid and thinking about everything else other than art and making things that make me feel things. BUT I made an exception and scrawled my 2018 New Years Resolution. Check out my past posts regarding New Years to see that I'm pretty serious about this stuff. This year I'm working on trying to stop apologizing for my existence. 

Every other word that comes out of my mouth at work is "sorry." And once I started to notice how frequently I apologize, I started to get more and more irritated with myself. Sorry to ask this question... Sorry for doing my job... Sorry for asking you to do you job... Sorry that you have to do that... Sorry that you're upset at that person... Sorry you have to work this weekend... Sorry I didn't drop everything I was working on to help you with your problem... Sorry I don't know the answer... Sorry that you lost your pencil... Sorry I'm breathing... Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

The more I say 'sorry,' the more I feel worthless. I feel like I'm taking up needed space, like I'm not good enough or worthy of anyone's time or attention. It's hard to break deeply embedded habits, so this year I researched and lettered instructions on how to work on and accomplish my resolution. 

Hope you all have a wonderful 2018! 

Remember, Remember

I don't have mantras because those sound pretentious and really snotty and annoying but I do obsessively repeat words over and over trying to convince my brain to believe them. That sounds cooler, right?

These are nothing new or exciting but I had to write them out to see 👀 tonight because I was in a real bratty mood all day and I needed to get over it big time. I'm really struggling with #3 right now and that's all I'm going to say.

'Night! 

Nap Queen

I have had a crappy last couple days and I really, really want to run away because that's my instinct and I'm embarrassed as all heck... BUT I'm trying to be tough so I'm just going to nap a lot instead. Don't be like me, kids.  

*Charles Barkley voice* I am not a role model.

Tell me how you really feel!

When a coworker you don't even know stops you at 6 am to say this... And your response is "Uh, nah, I intentionally combed my hair to look like this..." Ugh, thanks for the feedback! I guess my pineapple-pony on top of my head isn't as well received as my mirror was telling me. Hahahaha... don't care. 

To be fair, I have no idea what my hair is doing 99.6% of the time; it has always been its on entity. *Shoulder shrug*

PS. My computer has been dead for 2 weeks now and I'm waiting to order a new MacBook. I'm Netflix-less, Photoshop-less and basically useless so this is as "arty" as I can get right now. 

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Read a book on a meditation and its positive health effects and this stood out to me. 

Material possessions don't buy happiness but hell, if they did...