How to Stop Apologizing: A Work in Progress

I've been absent and off the grid and thinking about everything else other than art and making things that make me feel things. BUT I made an exception and scrawled my 2018 New Years Resolution. Check out my past posts regarding New Years to see that I'm pretty serious about this stuff. This year I'm working on trying to stop apologizing for my existence. 

Every other word that comes out of my mouth at work is "sorry." And once I started to notice how frequently I apologize, I started to get more and more irritated with myself. Sorry to ask this question... Sorry for doing my job... Sorry for asking you to do you job... Sorry that you have to do that... Sorry that you're upset at that person... Sorry you have to work this weekend... Sorry I didn't drop everything I was working on to help you with your problem... Sorry I don't know the answer... Sorry that you lost your pencil... Sorry I'm breathing... Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

The more I say 'sorry,' the more I feel worthless. I feel like I'm taking up needed space, like I'm not good enough or worthy of anyone's time or attention. It's hard to break deeply embedded habits, so this year I researched and lettered instructions on how to work on and accomplish my resolution. 

Hope you all have a wonderful 2018! 

Older Than Dirt

I've heard that it's all downhill after you turn 25.

Like, one day you're a youthful 24 year old who is able to touch their toes and shotgun a beer with no adverse effects and the next thing you know you're 25 and in Urgent Care being told you have carpal tunnel. Awh.

(Side note: I have never been able to touch my toes and the one time I shotgunned a beer, I absolutely hated it... but hypothetically those are cool mid-twenty activities. The carpal tunnel part is relevant to my life currently though.) 

My dad said this to me on Christmas morning after I opened some anti-aging creme I was gifted...
Subtle. Real subtle.

Granny Dani WAS my nickname (that people said behind my back) in high school so I'm not super surprised I have a soul of a 80 year old and the face of someone recently deceased.

Creative Criticism

Trimmed my hair, like, 3 inches??? and everyone at work had a hay day? It doesn't even look different, I don't understand. 

My favorite interaction after a haircut is the classic:

Other Person: "Did you cut your hair??!"

You: "Yeah." 

Other Person: "... Okay" 

Like, that person is SO disappointed in your appearance they can't even say one nice thing. Or pretend to say something nice. Or be human and be compassionate. They just have to point out that you made a huge mistake and then walk away.

Or:

Stranger: "Did you get a haircut?"

You: "Yeah."

Stranger: "Well, do YOU like it?"

You: *mental middle finger* 

Or:

Dude: "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

You: "What?"

Dude: "YOUR HAIR!!!!!!"

You: "Alright."

People are kind of the worst. Just sayin'